9 out of 10

This post should make up for the recent absence of news, because it is fully packed with Vitamin Incredibly Great Stuff. This weekend was easily the best weekend I've had since the wedding, and maybe the most densely-packed with disparate events of good fortune ever. Hell, evaaaaaaaar. Check this shit out:

Friday
At 3 I defended the shit out of my Master's thesis.

Now, I reserve braggadocio precisely for occasions such as this, allowing me to contrast my everyday confidence-free manner with a sudden burst of how just freaking rad I can be, thus enhancing the overall impact of my newly glowing self-assessment.

In other words, since I hate myself the rest of the time, I can now say with a clear conscience that my thesis defense completely owned. I spent all summer hoping to just get the whole thesis thing over with, and I came out with the distinct feeling that something cool had happened. The audience was filled with:
- well-wishers who refrained from blasting me with asshole questions;
- committee members who were not only genuinely interested in my research for some reason, but who were also friendly to a student who was sort of bailing out;
- the very exclusive organization of People I'm Married To, who helped me set up cookies and soda before, and sat in the back looking friendly and comforting during. I could write a whole post about all Mary did for me this summer. Above and beyond, for real.

I got through the Public Speaking Experience with pants unpeed, answered some questions in a satisfactory manner, and then received the welcome signatures on my candidacy approval form, indicating that I fuckin' passed. Now all I have to do is a bunch of paperwork and, of course, paper revisions, and I will be the proud owner of pretty much one of the only terminal Master of Arts degrees in linguistics ever given by Rice University. What felt, a few months ago, like a crushing failure is now, as far as anyone is concerned, a total success.

Immediately after the defense, despite everyone's assertions that I should totally celebrate (or, in the words of a committee member, 'get sloppy drunk') we went home, grabbed some luggage, and set out for Dallas, to sleep at the in-laws' house before going to Denton in the morning for the first day of library school. On the way there we stopped at Popeye's for some dang fucking good spicy fried chicken, and I got a miscast quarter back with my change. The design on both sides is off-center, leaving a crescent-moon-shaped area of flat metal. Neat. I later looked at eBay and found that a quarter exactly like mine sells for at least $10. Neat.

Later, in the car, I was talking to my parents and learned that Saturday would be my dad's last day at the post office. After 40 years, he is done with three-digit summers outside in polyester, driving from neighborhood to neighborhood in a non-air-conditioned aluminum jalopy, going home to a wrist brace and falling asleep in his chair. And to add to the good news from home, after a state inspection of the house and an interview with my mom, the state has decided to pay her to be my granny's caretaker, which of course she was doing anyway.

When we got in, I found a nice card from one of Mary's aunts who I pretty much don't know, as well as a copy of High Score! which I have wanted forever and which she apparently found deeply discounted. It's kind of disturbing that people about whom I know nothing know that I am obsessed with video games, but since I am not at all embarrassed about my hobby, that's cool.

Then sleep. For a while. Until 5:45 AM

Saturday when we woke up and got ready for my first (and only physical) meeting of SLIS 5000, Introduction to the Information Profession. Mary and her parents dropped me off at UNT, then went to go watch an energy efficient house being built (remind me, if you care, to post about that stuff, it is actually pretty cool). When I went in to sit down in the lecture hall, I was called over to sit in the "Guys with Glasses section." Nothing I love more early in the morning than doing something that is both completely passive and nonsensically hilarious. Nothing, that is, except not being awake.
I spent the next few hours getting orientationalized, and introduced to WebCT and getting introduced to the faculty and whatnot. At lunch (Jason's Deli) I chatted with a couple of students with whom I sort of bonded a little-- at least enough that we're totally going to do a group project together. If people want to be friends with me, who am I to stop them?

The final task of the day, a short orientation assignment designed to familiarize us with WebCT, was scheduled to take three hours. I took closer to three minutes. I called Mary, and then sat in the lunch area and played Castlevania: Circle of the Moon until they arrived. Any day where I get Castlevania time is a pretty good day, especially when it's a 'Vania I hadn't played in five years or so. During my day at UNT I got invited to:
-hang out at a big bookstore,
-'go have a drink somewhere', and
-participate in a Texas Hold 'Em tournament. (This last one was courtesy of some random undergrads who were meeting in the building I was in before heading over to the tournament. I politely declined out loud, and then in my head remarked that while I was in fact Texan, and quite adept at, you know, holding 'em, I had no interest in doing so competitively.

When we got back, the Brooks family took me to Outback to celebrate my successful defense. Who knew Outback had chicken fried (steak/chicken)? And that it is excellent? Me circa right after dinner last night, that's who. Word.

I'm going to have to ask Mary if anything else happened Saturday night. I think we just chilled and then got to sleep early. Probably something really important happened that Mary is mortified about me forgetting. It's late. Anyway, I slept for like 12 hours and woke up on Sunday feeling pretty solid.

We took it nice and easy again today, on the sixth anniversary of our first meeting with the main focus of today's activities being getting back to Houston in a timely and safetily manner. Before we left, we got lunch-- mine being delicious chili in a bread bowl from Corner Bakery. When we got back (20 minutes earlier than we estimated!) I found an envelope from UNT in the mail, which informed me that I was the recipient of a $1500 scholarship. Not the full tuition + stipend to which I had become accustomed, but after months of receiving zero information about scholarships, and therefore assuming that I had not qualified for any, this was a surprise windfall. Boo-yah. To celebrate all the success and whatnot, Mary suggested we order a pizza (which I usually don't eat on my 'diet'). I don't know if you've experienced this, but eating pizza is a nice way to spend a few minutes. I highly recommend this activity.

The best part about the whole weekend is that I feel completely normal. Not the guy who might have Social Anxiety Disorder and clinical depression, not the dumb guy in a room full of geniuses, not the fraud who shouldn't be where he is and probably can't do what he's being asked, not the idiot who needs to apologize for stuff he hasn't done yet, not the guy who can't summon the force to push enough air out to speak. Just a guy. Maybe even a dude who is doing things right and is not a total failure!

JC FLETCHER: NOT A TOTAL FAILURE IN '06

The title of this post, 9 out of 10, refers to the score (in some unknown category?) given to Virgos in this week's horoscope, as reported to me by the Dallas Morning News via Mary's mom Kathleen. Normally I take no stock in astrology (if I want to know the future, I'll stick to my copy of Taboo: The Sixth Sense, thank you very much), but if the mystics over at the Dallas Morning News want to say, in an indirect way, that I'm awesome, then I'm going to have to allow it.